My style, my rules
Looking back at pictures from my childhood, I realized that my style has come a long way and that got me thinking about how I used to get caught up in other people’s perception of my outward appearance. Although I’d never really been one to care too much about how I looked, it’d be a lie to say that I don’t have my share of physical insecurities. As a kid, I’d just wear whatever was comfortable – oversized t-shirts and jeans that I’d bought off of the boy’s rack (the Japanese girl cuts just didn’t work for me). And for a while it was good – I wore what I did because it was comfortable and practical. But after a while, it became less about my preferences and about the public perception.
People expected me to dress a certain way, and when I’d go out of bounds they’d call me out for it. If I wore a skirt I’d get more attention than usual just because skirts and Meg? That wasn’t a thing. Dressed a little nicer than usual and I’d get comments like, “Oooo you crushing on someone?” And at first, comments like that just brought me down because I didn’t want all that unnecessary attention. I didn’t care to “fit in” per se, but I didn’t really want to stand out either because I felt self conscious when I was trying something different. So, instead of risking exposure by experimenting, I chose to stick to my simple shirts and jeans so that people would leave me alone. But recently, I’ve started to realize that no one really cares that much.
No duh, I know. But I don’t think I really got it until… well, high school. I always tell my friends not to worry about how they look because no one cares enough about other people to notice the little things that they feel self conscious about. And it was time that I took my own advice. I might be self conscious about how my arm looks in this dress, but no one really looks at my arms (except me). And sure, I still get that crap about crushing on someone when I wear a skirt but honestly: Why should I care? I know that I’m dressing up for myself, and I feel good about it. That’s all that matters.
I’ve gained more confidence to do things just because I want to. I wear skirts sometimes because they’re actually quite fun! And I occasionally dress up on a school day because I feel like crap inside: at least I look great outside right? Formal events – put my own spin on the dress code! Leather boots and jackets never go out of style! I dye my hair purple because I like how it looks and I have it short because I like how it frames my face. I got an undercut because I wanted change and boy, am I glad I did it!
I do what I want because I want to do it. And it’s not always going to be a success but life’s too short to not try right? So if there’s something stylistically that you’ve been wanting to do for yourself, I encourage you to take the leap! The satisfaction of knowing that you stayed true to yourself is so liberating!